Ladies, Turn The Tables On Your Man With A Strap-on!
What would it be like to be a woman capable of taking her partner during sex? What would it be like to be able to be the one doing the penetrating during sex instead of being the one penetrated? These are questions that many heterosexual women ask themselves but are too embarrassed to voice out loud. The good news is that there isn’t anything wrong or shameful about these questions and that a woman can find the answers to these questions and others. Through the use of a dildo and harness a woman can experience the pleasures of penetrating their male partners and the man can also enjoy the pleasures of being penetrated.
A Woman Penetrating A Man With A Strap-On Dildo Is Called Pegging
Why would a woman want to use a strap-on with her man? There are no nerve endings in a dildo, so it is often assumed that a woman wearing a strap-on will not receive pleasure from the experience. There are a variety of reasons that a woman might want to try performing anal sex on her partner. First of all many dildos come with a vibrator in the base or a hole in the base for a bullet shaped vibrator to be inserted. Other harness and dildo sets, such as the Vac-U-Lock System, allow a way for a specially designed vibrator to be attached to the harness using Velcro. When the vibrator or vibrating base is positioned directly over the clitoris, this can provide arousing stimulation to the wearer. The thrusting, vibrating sensation on their clitoris may be very exciting to many women and allow them to achieve orgasm. For many women the idea of being able to turn the table on their man is very empowering and exciting. Maybe they have not felt a sense of control or power in their sexual relationships before and this allows them to feel stronger, and therefore, more equal to their male partners. Performing anal sex on a man may provide a real change of pace which can be a sexual thrill in and of itself. And, finally, if her partner’s arousal is increased, that can be arousing for the woman as well.
A lot of women and men think that anal sex with a strap-on will hurt. They are afraid of being hurt or hurting their partner. There is no reason that anal sex should hurt if done properly and safely. In the movie and book “Bend Over Boyfriend” Carol Queen and her partner Robert Morgan discuss how to have strap-on anal sex safely. Morgan reminds his viewers in the movie to always remember that, “The person being penetrated is always in charge.” It is going to be very important that the man be very verbal about how he is feeling and whether he wants to continue, go slower, softer, faster, harder, etc. And the woman, especially since the dildo will not provide physical sensation as a cue, needs to follow her man’s comments and signals very closely.
Queen and Morgan discuss in the video that there is a lot of preparation that should go into strap-on anal sex. In fact, if a couple is discussing having anal sex and the man has never been anally penetrated before, if will be a very good idea if he practices on himself first. The best tool for practice is one’s fingers. Make sure that your nails are trim and filed before ever using them in anal play. Make sure that the anus and hands are both well cleaned. Before inserting anything in the anus it is also a good idea to practice some relaxation techniques such as massage or a warm bath. Then they say that a man should practice by using a lot of lubricant and rubbing the lubricant around the outside of his anus. Keep massaging the lube into the area and then try to massage the lube into the anus without actually entering the anus with the finger. After the anus and entire area is well lubed it is time to slip in a pinky finger very slowly. Once that finger is comfortable it may be time to try a larger finger. Queen and Morgan point out that once you can insert a finger painlessly into the anus, many other things can be safely and painlessly inserted as well. A man may want to practice having sex while keeping a butt plug or anal beads inserted in his anus. Make sure that anything inserted has either a flared base or a string hanging out so it can be easily removed.
Queen and Morgan encourage women to first try penetrating their partners with a finger as well. Again, it is important to make sure that your nails are trimmed very short and filed to avoid sharpness. Men, take a relaxing hot shower and take special care to clean your anal area. Together, do something relaxing, such as massage, or even other forms of sex. When you are ready to being with anal play remember to have a lot of lubricant on hand and to use it liberally. They believe that you can never have too much lubricant. Queen says that a woman should rub her finger on the outside of her partner’s anus until she feels tension against the sphincter. Then she should lay her finger flat against the sphincter while still moving her finger. As he relaxes through the use of deep breathing, slowly pick your finger up so that it is now perpendicular instead of parallel to your man’s rear-end. This should gently insert the tip of your finger into his anus. You should never poke your finger or anything else into the anus. Once your finger is just inside your partner’s anus, he should bear down, as if having a bowel movement, and back onto your finger. Initially, this will be easiest if you are taking your man from behind and he is face down supporting himself on his arms and legs. Once he is well adjusted to your finger and giving you clear instructions, if he feels ready you can try the same technique with a strap-on dildo. Remember to go very slowly and follow all instructions that your partner provides.
In addition to emphasizing communication, consent, and large quantities of lubricant, the video also talks about some other measures that you should take to achieve safety and pleasure when strapping it on with your man. If your partner experiences light bleeding it means that either he has developed a small tear in the lining of his anus or that a hemorrhoid has been aggravated. If this happens it means that you should go much slower next time and use more lubricant. If the problem persists, he should see a doctor. Because pain is a message from the brain that something is wrong it is also important to not use a numbing agent during anal sex. If your man does experience pain and this persists, he should see a doctor. If he feels that his sphincter is too tight and he wants to learn to control his sphincter more, he should perform kegels regularly. To do this, while urinating he should intentionally interrupt the stream of urine by clamping down with his muscles. This exercise will improve his sphincter control.
Once you and your partner are comfortable having anal sex with a strap-on you can experiment with a wide variety of positions. Just as when a man is penetrating a woman, there is no one correct position for anal sex. You may want to try having anal sex face to face, with either of you on top. Or you may try lying down while your partner uses the dildo to penetrate himself by being on top while facing away from you. Finally, some men will not need their penis to be stimulated during anal sex to achieve orgasm, but others will. If your man does you can try different positions that allow either yourself or him easier access to his penis for stroking.
There is absolutely no reason why a man and woman cannot reverse roles during sex with the use of a strap-on. You may be wondering how to approach your male partner about doing this. Keep in mind that many men enjoy having their prostate stimulated during sex and that anal penetration is the way to accomplish this. In fact, some men fantasize about their wives or partners performing anal sex on them but are too embarrassed to ask for this. The best way to approach this topic with your partner is to initiate regular discussions with him about what both your & his different sexual fantasies are. These discussions will allow both of you to find out new things about each other as well as provide a hot foreplay. This may not be the first fantasy you want to bring up. You may in your first discussion just want to talk about how you are interested in feeling more empowered during sex. Or you might let him know that you have heard that many men like to have anal penetration because it allows for prostate stimulation, and you think that it would be hot to see him so turned on. You might even ask if the two of you could watch a sexual movie together and then watch “Bend Over Boyfriend” with him. See what he thinks. Obviously your decision to do this should be mutual, but as long as all parties involved are consensual there is nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to not explore a wider variety of sexual pleasures.